Define reality

Lost a friend last week, it was disturbing, however trying to overcome my moments with her, I ended up remembering every single reaction. every single possibility.

The mind works in a mysterious way, you tell it not to think about certain someone, and instantly that’s all the mind thinks about.

The fact that you want to detach some soul out of your existence, doesn’t mean that they don’t mean as much to you anymore, it just means that you’re trying to find a way out! you’re trying to move on and get over the speed bump.

I’ve lost a very special someone last week, I didn’t get to actually meet her in person, but I was just waiting for the minute that I’d see her face, hold her hands … It was just 3 more months to go, however the universe works in mysterious way, and I’m never going to have the chance of meeting her ever again.

After her lost, I began to question the reality of my days. I was on the edge of breaking up with my perception of my higher power. Always been a realistic, and never questioned how destiny works … but it hurt … so much.

just remembering it now makes me burst in tears, but I think it’s good, tears heals broken souls.

Hope to meet you in the afterlife, my dear daughter.

love you, always.

The power of the mind…

So it’s settled, are you going to lose your battle against your own monsters? forfeit your life? abandon all hope?

Just don’t listen to your own words, and accept the fact that .. your mind sometimes can turn against you, and your own heat might actually weaken your spirit.

The best course of action when you’re feeling down and locked away out of your own happy place, is to think outside your comfort zone.. if it’s depressing inside, go outside… If the people around you makes you feel any kind of discomfort, then change them.. or at least take a step back. And if these people are important to your life; like family or close friends, then they will accept your words… be straight forward with them and confront them with whatever they’re shadowing on your soul.

The mind if tricky on its own.. don’t let it fool you, take a sip of your thoughts and dip your heart in it, and think it out.

take your time

well well well

it’s been 20 days since I started my personal pledge to do something worthy of my day.

Twenty days of ups and downs! but at the end I can say proudly that consistency wins. At first it was really difficult to stay focused and was easily distracted by minor issues, however by the end of the first week, I believe i got my problems under control.

hopefully it will be easier from now on, and I’m not kidding myself to believe such scenario.. kek.

I know it’s always going to be tough, and the prettier life gets, the harder it hits. I’m not saying that I’m completely depressed, I’m just stating that fact that I’m starting to look at the half full part of the cup.

One of my friends was always trying to get me to think of another way of the half full cup. Whenever we spoke about the issue, she always said to me that the bottom half of her cup is clogged with a non removable object, so her cup is always full, no matter how full it was.

loved the concept.

take care, till next time.

A new day to come …

So, as to start another day, you need to finish yesterday first. I was trying to plan ahead and figure out what I’m going to do tomorrow without realizing that my plans for today is put on hold by my current current of procrastination.

So it’s important to stop whatever you’re thinking about doing, and just do what you’re supposed to be doing.

Enjoy the moment, live it to the fullest.

Over and over

so it begins again, I’m starting over.

It’s not easy to admit it, but the fact that my whole body is rejecting the change is really holding me back. I’ve been trying to start this for long long time, but couldn’t get it to start on.

I wish me luck, and hope this time the result is worth the effort.

Today I relaized

The harder i try now, the sooner I’ll see my goals. The more excuses I make, the longer it’ll take t see results. So, go that extra mile, even when you don’t think you can.

Imperfect Thursday.

Feeling tired ad not being able to do anything.
The power within me is about to be totally depleted.
I think I’m going to collapse in any minutes.
Today’s work was just exhausting and I think my legs is telling me to be gentle on them.


Meet loila, she is a beautiful girl from a far away land and currently she’s working as a staff nurse in the middle east. A horrible place as per her own point of view. But loila can’t be the judge on that, she is struggling with her own issues from work to her Ex, and her father and step mother.

Loila has a step sister, for whom she used to keep her secrets .. her father married her step mother when she was 8 years old, and that was almost 20 years ago. so far now they live happily. but loila didn’t approve this kind of happiness.

The father is working in South Africa and the mother is a house wife taking care of loila’s step sister who’s by the way in college now, so loila is about to be 28 years old next month.